15 Weeks!

How far along:  15 weeks
Babies are the size of:  Oranges!  I checked a twin website too and it also gave this size and weight, I thought maybe it would be a little less with two, but apparently not!
What's happening:  They are squirming and moving a ton!  They may be hiccuping or sucking their thumbs.  Their joints and limbs can all now move.  There can also be plenty of intratwin interaction going on in there, which I think is really cool.
Maternity Clothes:  I love working at home in my sweats, but I do wear my mat capris/pants to dress up a little more to go out.
Stretch Marks: Nope
Sleep:  Some nights are better than others.
Symptoms: Some back pain, RLP, stretching/cramping and the headaches continue.
Best Moment of the Week:  I'm still reveling in the fact we are in 2nd tri :D
Miss Anything:  After a stressful work at week, I miss my wine.
Cravings/Aversions:  I'm still kind of hooked on original KD, it's just so damn good, and easy to make!  But I have it with salad and figure that balances it out - right??  ;)
Showing Yet: It's starting to get pretty obvious!
Mood: Pretty stressed about work.  H & I are trying to make plans for what to do after the babies, I am really not counting on having this job to come back to, so I'm stressed about figuring out a new career, when I just wanted to focus on raising our babies for a while, and the financial side of it all really does not help.  UGH.  
What I am Looking Forward to:  I am excited that in the next few weeks or so, we can hopefully find out who's in there!  I toyed with Team Green for a while when we were trying and before I knew about the twins, but now I just really want to know who's in there!  

15 Weeks!

Second Trimester!!

I kind of can't believe I'm here.  I woke up this morning and have been unable to wipe the grin off my face.  I feel like we've accomplished something I could only dream about for so long.  We made it to second trimester.  It's amazing how the varied emotions come into play at different times.  For so long, and until really recently (evidenced by my PAIF post just a little bit ago) I have been having such a hard time letting go of the fear and anxiousness and just embracing this happiness that we've prayed, and fought, so hard for.  And today, hitting a milestone like reaching second tri is both mind baffling and incredibly emotional for me, but in a good way.  I am so beyond grateful for our little miracles and it just feels even more real to be starting the second trimester.  We are already more than a third of the way through this pregnancy - how that's possible, I do not know, but I just thank God every day for this blessing.  Oh man, I'm so mushy today!

How far along:  14 weeks
Babies are the size of:  Lemons!
What's happening:  They are probably sucking their thumbs and wiggling their toes in there!  The kidneys are making urine, and the liver and spleen are doing their jobs, too.  Babies are also growing lanugo, a thin, peach-fuzz-like hair, all over the body to help keep them warm!
Maternity Clothes:  I love working at home in my sweats, but I do wear my mat capris/pants to dress up a little more to go out.
Stretch Marks: Nope
Sleep:  Some nights are better than others.
Symptoms: Still waiting for that second tri energy people talk about.  I had some killer back pain one night this week, it was pretty awful, along with some cramping/RLP type stuff.  Those babies are doing a lot of growing, it makes sense, but I was still disappointed that Tylenol is as good as it gets these days :S  I've also been having more headaches than usual, nothing horrible, but annoying nonetheless.
Best Moment of the Week:  Waking up in second tri this morning!
Miss Anything:  Not particularly
Cravings/Aversions:  I go back and forth between wanting sweets and salty, I'm usually only a sweets girl.  But I have been trying to substitute for healthier options, like yogurt, fruit and granola.  But let's be honest, it's not nearly as satisfying as a chocolate bar and every so often, I just have to cave.
Showing Yet: I can still hide it under looser fitting clothes, but anything more fitted?  Well yeah, take a look.
Mood: Pretty damn happy today :)
What I am Looking Forward to:  We're going to my uncle's cottage tomorrow for the weekend, it is our only cottage weekend this summer so I'm stoked (and really hoping for nice weather!).  Plus we're going to tell him about the twins, I think he's going to be pretty excited, so I'm looking forward to that.  We have also started to try and empty out the will-be nursery, I've dropped off lots at Goodwill, it feel like I'm making slow progress, but better than nothing!

14 Weeks

NT Scan

I went for my NT scan this morning.  There was a little confusion when I got there but fortunately it was sorted out quickly.  Apparently there are differences between NT scan, IPS and First tri screening and when the nurse from my OB office called, they said one thing but the lab took it as something else.  Fortunately the tech that was available was able to do the NT scan (which is what I thought all along).  The tech was a rather old guy who didn't speak much English, I tried to joke a little with him but he was pretty serious and didn't quite understand me, so I gave up and just stared at the ceiling.  The babies were fairly well behaved, it didn't take too long in the end, which is good, I've heard it's not uncommon, especially with twins, for it to take a while to get the necessary measurements.  What well behaved babies I'm making!  ;)

Then we moved to another room since the u/s machine where I was had a busted printer, go figure.  H came in then (he wanted to come and see the babies again, he's so sweet, he hasn't missed an appt,except the one when he was in China - who can fault him for that!).  The babies were all kinds of active!  Jumping around, moving all over the place, doing acrobatics in there!  We saw Baby A, face up one moment, then seconds later baby had flipped upside down!  It was a little crazy but really awesome, you could see the whole spine!  It was nuts to see them moving around so much in there, in my body, and I have no idea!  It's a little alien-esque.  And speaking of alien, I swear our pics from yesterday, after all that effort, seriously look like I'm having aliens.  I told H that in the waiting room and he laughed and said, "I'm glad you said it first - doesn't this one (Baby A) seriously look like the alien from Independence Day?" - it really does, you'll see for yourself in a moment!  I got the report from the tech and headed next door for b/w.  I was able to see on the form that the NT measurement indicated for both babies was 1.2mm.  I know we need the b/w too, but it felt a little reassuring to see that number.  Without further ado, here are my little aliens:

Baby heads

Baby B

Baby A(lien)

We were out last night and made our first purchase for babies.  It's nothing big, more of a token, but it was really about overcoming the mental hurdle for us.  We bought some little outfits, I think they're adorable, and it felt good to finally buy something for them.  It's funny how standing looking at baby clothes, H all of a sudden was like, "holy crap, this is getting real".  Even though we know this, it' been hard to wrap our heads around it all.  But for the first time, I was in a baby clothing store and wasn't shopping for anyone else, we bought something for OUR babies <3

                     

     

Always loved, never forgotten

Sending all my love and strength to you, today, my dear friend.  You are never far from my mind, heart or prayers.  I hope that you can feel the love embracing you <3

Your sweet Petey will always be loved, and will never be forgotten.

13 Weeks

What a week!  On Saturday we had a friend's wedding and being a little over 12 weeks and seeing some friends we don't get to see very often, we decided to share our news with them. I was a little nervous, but it felt really great afterwards.  They were insanely happy for us which made me happy we decided to tell.  But it was a long night and I had to work early Sunday morning, so I enjoyed my time and then headed home around 11pm, H stayed to party and caught a ride home later.

Sunday was the start of our big work tradeshow.  It's long days on your feet, running around, which I was not excited for.  But I made it through and am beyond happy to say I'm back at my desk this morning!  I was running out of nice clothes that hide the bump, haha!  I also told my other two colleagues at lunch yesterday - I figured I'd wait until the end of the show, since I wasn't expecting my old boss to be particularly excited for me and didn't want to add any stress during the show.  It went fine in the end, he didn't say anything rude or make me feel bad, so that's a plus!  He didn't exactly jump up and down, but I prepared myself for worse, so I'm happy enough with how it all went.  I also spilled to one of our clients yesterday.  She was kindly gifting my partner and I a nice travel bag, but I had actually been eyeing the same line which had a diaper bag.  I asked if I could swap mine for that one and she got so excited when the light bulb went off, it was really sweet.  So I scored a new diaper bag that is cute machine washable, hooray!!

       

How far along:  13 weeks
Babies are the size of:  Peaches!  I was really excited to get to peaches for some reason!
What's happening: Vocal chords and teeth are forming!  Babies already have fingerprints and intestines are making their way to their more permanent home.  Motor skills are starting to work, flexing their arms and legs.
Maternity Clothes:  I wore maxi skirts at the show a lot this week, and I may have worn one pair of mat dress pants my mom bought me (for $3!!) because fuck it, they were comfy.
Stretch Marks: Nope
Sleep:  Some nights are better than others.
Symptoms: I woke up Sunday with serious back pain, not a good sign before the show even starts.  It was pretty bad for a few days but seems to have calmed down a little, thank goodness.  I am also waiting for that 2nd tri energy boost people talk about, I really could have used it this week!
Best Moment of the Week:  Probably telling our friends at the wedding.  There were 8 of us at the table and it was crazy but awesome that we all knew, no big secret to keep, no lying about why I wasn't drinking (open bar wedding, and all!).  It felt good to feel the excitement :)
Miss Anything:  I would have enjoyed to taste some of the yummy cocktails at the wedding/
Cravings/Aversions:  Cheese, but that's an always thing, haha.
Showing Yet: The peaches are getting harder to hide in more form fitted clothing!
Mood: I am so happy to be done with the tradeshow, it's a big sigh of relief.
What I am Looking Forward to:  I have my first tri screening tomorrow.  I'm a little nervous, I just want to know everything is ok, but I am excited to see the babies again!

13 Weeks

PAIF brain

Pregnant after infertility.  It's a strange place to be most days.  I am constantly amazed and eternally grateful for this opportunity.  I am in awe that there are currently two little humans, growing inside me right now.  I am proud of my body for doing this amazing thing.  But it's hard to let go of IF brain.  I spent so long being angry and feeling like my body was failing me.  I was mad that it wasn't doing what it was meant to do, and now I am blown away that it is growing two little people, it's finally doing what I have been praying for it to do all alone.  We spent two years getting bad news, being in the wrong end of all of the statistics.  Every hopeful, happy thought was accompanied by a feeling of impending dread and despair.  It was hard to let myself dream of the future I so desperately wanted.

And then I got pregnant.  And then we found out we're having twins.  And almost daily, there is a moment of amazement, of, "Is this real life?  Is this finally, really happening for us?"  And it's hard to believe it and embrace it.  It's hard to stop holding your breath, waiting for the other shoe to drop.  We have been blessed, we have made it to 12 weeks with an amazing and uneventful pregnancy.  We have seen the babies growing, we have seen their hearts beating, we heard it last week for the first time.  Everything is moving along just like it should.  So when does the nervousness subside?  When do you stop feeling anxious and worried? My OB said I'm another regular pregnant lady.  When will I feel like that?  It feels like my battle with IF has left deep scars that are taking a long time to heal, it's hard to believe that everything is really working out.  I thought when I got to 12 weeks, this milestone would feel like a weight has been lifted.  The rates of miscarriage drop off significantly, we have had no reason to be alarmed, hell I've had a pretty damn easy pregnancy (which I'm beyond grateful for, knock on wood!).  It almost feels too good to be true.

I don't want to sound ungrateful, or that I don't acknowledge just how lucky and blessed we are.  I do, I pray every day and am thankful for this miracle.  I can't believe that this is really happening.  I can't even put into words how happy I am, how thankful I am.  I'm just also scared, and nervous and I hope one day, those feelings will start to subside.  I've been hesitant and scared to share our news with the world, I haven't bought anything for the babies yet.  I can't explain it, but it somehow feels like I'm going to jinx things, which I know is ridiculous, but it's just this hesitation, like at any minute I'm going to be shaken awake and realize this has all been a dream.  I don't really think that our battle with IF will ever not be in my mind necessarily, but I really hope that at some point I can take a breath and just be that normal pregnant lady my OB said I am.

12 Weeks!

How far along:  12 weeks
Babies are the size of:  Plums
What's happening: The most critical systems are formed.  Now entering a growth and maturation stage with rapid development.  Reflexes are developing, if you poked baby's body they would likely move!  They’re also opening and closing their fingers and curling their toes.
Weight change: I don't like this one anymore :S
Maternity Clothes:  I do get to wear sweats all day, working at home, but I am loving the capris I bought last week, they're so comfortable!
Stretch Marks: Nope
Sleep:  Some nights are better than others.  After a few shitty days when the limes were attacking me, day and night, I have been sleeping a little better since that passed.
Symptoms: So exhausted, like seriously.  Last week's cramping and RLP wasn't too much fun either.  I have also had some migraines, they always start as optical ones with trippy visuals, that just turns into a nasty headache once that phase passes.
Best Moment of the Week:  We told H's extended family on the weekend.  That's an aunt on one side, and an aunt, uncle and cousin on the other (small ish family).  It was fun to share our news with them.  We figure we were thisclose to 12 weeks, my goal before starting to spill more, and we probably won't see them until late Sept at my nephew's bday, and by then I'm pretty sure our news will be obvious!  We also really wanted to tell in person.  It was awesome, there were a lot of tears and disbelief that there are two!
Miss Anything: I was missing my wine spritzers at the bbq this weekend.
Cravings/Aversions:  I'm still digging the sour keys and candy, but I am keeping it in check.  H, on the other hand...
Showing Yet: I feel like my stomach looks huge when I look down!  It is definitely growing!
Mood: Work is gearing up, next week will be intense and long days on my feet.  I am not excited.
What I am Looking Forward to:  The end of next week when the work craziness will be over.  But also for my OB appt this afternoon!  I'm excited to meet her, I really hope I like her.  And we should be booking the first part of my Integrated Screening test.  I am eager to see the babies again!