11 Weeks

And I think my limes were trying to kill me this morning.  I woke up at 6am to pee (kind of impressive, I'm usually up at 3-4am!) and had trouble getting back to sleep because my lower back was sore and I was feeling a bit crampy.  I tossed and turned a while, by the time I got up for my alarm, it was getting pretty bad.  I showered and got myself half way dressed, and literally had to stand doubled over to get a little relief.  It felt better to lie down, so I did that most of the morning, hoping it would ease up soon.  I took some Tylenol also.  I have a pretty high threshold for pain, but these were intense feelings - crampy meets stretching meets stabby at times.  It was mostly on my right side and wrapped around to my lower back.  It finally subsided enough for me to get to my desk and do some work.  I really haven't had much to complain about this pregnancy (knock on wood!) but that shit hurt, like whoa.  It's been better throughout the day, I feel full and kind of bloated, my lower back is still sore (though this isn't uncommon for me, period).  I think if it continues in the morning I'll be one of 'those' people and call my nurse.  I'm pretty sure this is normal, I mean hell, there are two limes in there, growing like crazy, trying to make space and make themselves at home!  I read that they should double in size in the coming week!  So it makes sense to me that things need to stretch and move, but my IF brain got a little panicky for a bit there.  Thanks to my fellow IVF dreamers for talking me through it <3

How far along:  11 weeks
Babies are the size of:  Limes!  So much cuter than prunes :)
What's happening: Babies are moving around like crazy, evidenced by the dance party we witnessed on Tues!  Fingers and toes aren't webbed anymore, that's a plus!  And tooth buds, hair follicles and nail beds are forming.  Babies have vocal cords by now and are capable of making some noise.  Your babies’ pancreases and kidneys are fully functional, as is the placenta.
Weight change: Didn't even think of it this morning
Maternity Clothes:  My mom happened to be at a maternity store on the weekend that was having an amazing sale, and being the frugal shopper I am, I couldn't pass it up!  So I bought a few things, for a steal, and I'm stoked about it!  I am not wearing most of it just yet, but I did get capri jeans that I am stoked for, my regular ones are a little on the (really) snug side!  I may or may not be wearing them for my weekly photo.  Don't judge.  I may have also changed back into my sweats immediately after.
Stretch Marks: Nope
Sleep:  Just so tired.  I sleep well some nights, then other nights not so much.
Symptoms: Um, being attacked by limes this morning.  Exhausted, bloated, sore boobs - I think I've said all this before, it's all the same.
Best Moment of the Week:  The u/s on Tues.  It was amazing to see our babies look and act like babies!  I cannot stop picturing Baby A having a little dance party and Baby B sucking it's thumb.  And H texted me all morning, just in complete awe of our babies and how much they've grown, how they're really little tiny humans in there!  His excitement about the babies seriously just makes me gush and love him even more than I thought possible.  Did I mention I'm super sappy??
Miss Anything: Not feeling so self conscious!
Cravings/Aversions:  My dear friend Ally's obsession with Eggos has totally worked it's way into my head, and my stomach.  Nom, nom, nom!
Showing Yet: Not showing, but definitely feeling like my belly is growing.
Mood: Today I'm just exhausted and rather blah.  I'm still stressing about the work stuff, and my poor crazy pup is on Xanax - yup, you read that right.  We are struggling so much with her right now, it's hard and it plays on a lot of emotions - sad for her, frustration, a strong desire to "fix" it.  And I miss our lunch time walks, it was good for both of us to get out and stretch our legs midday, while I'm still awake.
What I am Looking Forward to:  The upcoming long weekend!  I need a break.

11 Weeks!

From Gummy Bears to Babies

We had our last* appt with the RE this morning, I was so excited to see the babies again!  My excitement was slightly squashed when they were 45 mins late for my appt.  Grrrrrr.  Doctors and their inability to be on time, it drives me crazy!  But they finally called us in, like literally moments before H was going to give up and head to work.  And then all of that annoyed, irritation just melted away.  It was by far the coolest u/s so far!  They actually look like babies!  With arms and legs, more straightened out than they had been before.  Baby A was having a little dance party in there, wiggling around!  It was seriously amazing to watch our baby looking and acting like a baby!  Baby B on the other hand was snoozing away, sucking on it's thumb.  I can't help but laugh at the parallels - Baby A having a dance party - all me, while Baby B, sleeping away, is all H!  My heart was ready to burst watching them, it was just so amazing!  All these weeks we've been watching them grow and it's been incredible to see them getting bigger and more defined.  But today, today they really looked like babies, doing baby things!

                      

 

Then H had to run to get to work and I saw Dr. R, and a student.  He came in, went over my history a little with the student.  He told me the babies have been growing and progressing just perfectly!  He also mentioned that I need to keep an eye on my thyroid during pregnancy - duh, I've been asking you about that all along!  Then he basically wished me well and told me to stop by and say hi throughout my pregnancy!  Easy enough since my OB is just upstairs :)  It was so surreal, walking out of there for possibly the last time as a patient.  I've been looking forward to this day for almost a whole year, it's just mind boggling to me that it's actually here.

I meet my new OB next Thurs, I really hope that I like her.  I just really want to feel like she listens to me and hears me out.  I also really hope she'll actually be around when I deliver in Feb!  *My RE's office did say that if I have trouble scheduling my NT Scan with the new OB, they can do it for me.  When I meet the OB that will be 12 weeks, so time is of the essence, so I feel a little better with a plan b.  Especially since it's giftshow time at work again, and there are a few days that I really cannot make an appt.  So I guess I'm a regular pregnant woman now?  Regular with twins, that is!  But still...what a crazy but awesome thought.

Double Digits!

How far along:  10 weeks 

Babies are the size of:  Prunes.  Their body length will almost double in the next three weeks - crazy!
What's happening: Baby has working arm joints, cartilage and bones are forming.  The vital organs are fully developed and they're starting to function.  Fingernails and hair are starting to appear, too.  Plus, they're swallowing and kicking in there already.  If you could, you'd be able to see the clear outline of the spine. Spinal nerves stretch out from the spinal cord. 

Weight change: +2lbs already...
Maternity Clothes Nope, just whatever is comfortable, as in my sweats, all the time.
Stretch Marks: Nope
Sleep:  Exhausted and not sleeping well many nights.
Symptoms: More of the same - exhausted, bloated, sore boobs (especially getting up from lying down), easily short of breath, some bouts of nausea but (knock on wood) it hasn't been too bad. And irritable, really irritable.
Best Moment of the Week:  It hasn't been a great week....having KD for dinner last night??
Miss Anything: Uninterrupted sleep and after a stressful freaking week, I want a wine spritzer, or three.
Cravings/Aversions:  The aforementioned KD and candy, like 5 cent candy from 7-11.
Showing Yet: The bloat is real, but it is getting harder to suck it in.  I mostly just look pudgy, flowy tops are my friend.
Mood: Seriously stressed the fuck out.  I was already stressing about finances with having no mat leave compensation and two babies coming, but this week my work situation is basically imploding and I am honestly not sure if I will have a job to come back to.  I am terrified about the prospect of being a new mom of twins, exhausted and dealing with all of that while putting together a resume and job hunting.  

On a separate but also stressful note, Abby is neurotic and crazy and not at all in a funny, haha, way.  Ever since the May long weekend's fireworks, she has been progressively getting more and more nuts.  We are at the point right now where she's nervous and skiddish with any kind of loud, especially high pitched noises and especially if she's outside.  She refuses to go on walks, from our house.  It has only got this bad in the last week, we used to walk every day at lunch around the complex and now she just won't have any of it.  She sits down, refuses to move forward and starts pulling like mad to go back home.  We are taking her on Monday to the trainer we did puppy classes with and hopefully we can start to make some progress, or figure out how to, because this is getting crazy and really frustrating.

Part three - told you it's been a week.  I have had a few family members really pressuring me to share our news with an aunt here and an uncle there.  I don't understand why they don't seem to be hearing me when I say I'm not ready yet.  They all knew much sooner than they normally would because of our extenuating (read: IVF) circumstances.  I will tell them when they can share the news, until then, please stop trying to convince me to tell more people when I'm not ready.
What I am Looking Forward to:  Any little bit of this stress not feeling so overwhelming.  

10 Weeks!

9 Weeks!

How far along:  9 weeks
Babies are the size of:  Olives
What's happening: Babies are no longer embryos but fetuses!  Facial features are developing more, eyes are fully formed but stay closed for the next 16 weeks or so. Reproductive organs are already beginning to form.
Weight change: I forgot this morning, maybe for the best.
Maternity Clothes: Nope, just whatever is comfortable with the bloat, which is crazy by night.
Stretch Marks: Nope
Sleep:  Exhausted, like I could have fallen asleep at my desk most afternoons this week.  Still not sleeping great, I do a lot of tossing and turning and can't quite get comfy.
Symptoms: More of the same - exhausted, bloated, sore boobs, easily short of breath, some bouts of nausea but (knock on wood) it hasn't been too bad.
Best Moment of the Week:  Our u/s on Tues!  I seriously love getting to see the babies, it is so reassuring to see them doing well, to see how much they've grown and changed already, in such a short period of time.
Miss Anything: Uninterrupted sleep.
Cravings/Aversions:  I have been craving fresh fruit, like pineapple and cantaloupe, and salty peanuts.  I may have got H to stop on his way home yesterday to get me candy - man did that hit the spot.
Showing Yet: I still say it's bloat (H sort of disagrees - I told him to shut it, I'll tell him when it's a real bump!) but it's getting more noticeable, and seriously by night, there's no hiding it!  I can still suck it in a bit, but even in the mornings now it's quite noticeable to me.  I'm still feeling like I did last week, maybe more so, but I don't want to be a big complainer or seem like I'm fishing, I'm not, I swear, I guess I just didn't expect to be looking/feeling this way so soon.  (Thanks for the kind words last week ladies, love you girls <3)
Mood: Ok, sort of emotional and trying to work on my hang ups as mentioned above.
What I am Looking Forward to: The weekend.  We're going to spend the weekend with my MIL& FIL, BIL & SIL and two nephews.  It's nice to be with people who know so we don't have to hide this big secret, and it's always nice to get out of the city.  Abby loves it up there, she rarely has to put a leash on - it's a doggy paradise and I love seeing her so happy and running around.  Plus we bring home a very tired pup - that's a win-win :)

9 weeks!

Gummy bears!! Sort of :)

H and I have been eagerly awaiting Wed morning, so excited to go see our babies again.  Just after I got up, and moments before H left for work, the clinic called and said they had a cancellation, did I want to come in this morning.  Um, don't have to ask me twice!  I went running down the stairs while calling H's cell trying to get him before he left.  I did, thankfully, had the fastest shower I could manage and off we went!  I was extra happy about this since I had some spotting yesterday, and while I know spotting is common and blah, blah, blah, it still freaked me out, so I was super happy to get in a day earlier to see the babies.

In we went, up on the table - hello vag cam, it's been a couple weeks :)  H looked awkward, as he usually does when we get started.  The man should be used to this by now, being there while people are all up in my stuff.  I couldn't help but snicker a little.  Both babies are looking great, they both had heartbeats of 179, nice and strong!  After taking all of the measurements, the tech turned the screen and there they were, our little gummy bears!  You could really start to see the head, she even pointed out that you can see the dark mass inside which is the brain forming - how cool is that??  We could start to see the little limbs forming.  We saw the heartbeats fluttering away.  It was truly a beautiful sight.  The tech asked if I had any spotting, I said yes I did yesterday, and she mentioned a small blood clot close to my cervix.  She said it's really no big deal, but don't panic because there will likely be more spotting as a result.  Ok, as long as I know babies are ok and to expect this, I will not freak out.

I have not stopped staring at these pictures all day, it's so amazing to see the change from u/s to u/s, I am truly humbled and blown away by this process.  They are so tiny, yet already have so many complexities and are developing and growing so quickly.  It may sound cheesy, but it truly is a miracle to witness this, to be apart of this.  I am just so grateful.  Here they are, you get a head on shot with splayed little limbs from Baby A and a nice profile pic from Baby B, and of course one of them together.  Yup, I'm going to AW it up.  This is my blog after all.  Babies!!!!!  <3

                           

 

8 Weeks!

How far along:  8 weeks
Babies are the size of:  Raspberries
What's happening: Babies are moving those arms and legs like crazy!  Their fingers and toes are now only slightly webbed, and the tail (yes, there was one) is gone.  Fun fact: taste buds are forming!
Weight change: +1.8lbs (not sure I'm liking this scale idea...)
Maternity Clothes: Nope, just whatever is comfortable with the bloat, which is crazy by night
Stretch Marks: Nope
Sleep:  So tired.  Sleeping ok, but having seriously bizarre dreams.
Symptoms: Tired, bloated, sore boobs, easily short of breath, some bouts of nausea but (knock on wood) it hasn't been too bad.  My stomach has been bothering me this week.  It's like a full, bloated, gassy, uncomfortable feeling.  It's not terrible, but definitely not awesome either.  And irritable, so irritable at work lately.  Lots of people added to the Asshole List, right Cici??  ;)
Best Moment of the Week:  We are anxiously awaiting next week's u/s so it's been a quiet week.  H was really cute the other night, we were cuddling before bed and he said, "Thanks for growing our babies, you're going to be such a good mom" and then told me if there's anything he can do to help, I better tell him!  I told him I am beyond grateful for the opportunity to grow our babies - seriously, every day I can't believe how lucky we are and I am so incredibly thankful.
Miss Anything: Uninterrupted sleep and a wine spritzer - I could have used that during our finances discussion the other night!
Cravings/Aversions:  I can't deal with the smell of turnkey bacon, which H sometimes has on the weekend.  Cravings - I made banana bread last night because, well, I really wanted it!  FTR, it is delicious :)
Showing Yet: No, just bloated.  I am looking forward to having a real bump, I feel like I'm just starting to look fat (especially by night) and it's stirring up some negative body image feelings.  And then I feel petty and vain for feeling like this.
Mood: See above.  Also, I'm stressing about finances and how much time I can take off work.  I have a lot of feels this week.
What I am Looking Forward to: Our u/s next Wed!  I can't wait to see the babies!

8 Weeks! 

7 Weeks!

How far along:  7 weeks
Babies are the size of: Blueberries
What's happening: Generating about 100 new brain cells a minute!  Both the brain and heart are becoming more complex.  Kidneys are starting to develop and arm and leg joints are now forming.
Weight change: +0.5lbs
Maternity Clothes: Nope, just whatever is comfortable with the bloat
Stretch Marks: Nope
Sleep: Tired.  Sleeping a little better, but not enough
Symptoms: Tired, bloated, sore boobs and seriously forgetful!  I wander downstairs, then forget why I'm there, come back up, out of breath, only to remember a few minutes later why I went down to begin with!
Best Moment of the Week: Second u/s yesterday, with H, and seeing their heartbeats flicker on the screen!
Miss Anything: Uninterrupted sleep.
Cravings/Aversions:  Not really, I'm really into plain soda crackers at the moment.  I had a serious craving for KD last night, so we made the noodles, I opened the cheese packet and it smelled rancid!  Cue utter disappointment.  I need me some KD!
Showing Yet: No, just bloated, especially by night time.
Mood: Happy!  I feel relieved after seeing both our babies yesterday!  They're both doing well with good strong heartbeats.  H was so sweet, he looked so happy and I couldn't stop smiling!
What I am Looking Forward to: A weekend, I'm tired.  Did I mention that already?

7 Weeks!

We saw heartbeats!!!

I am seriously on cloud nine and cannot stop smiling.  What an amazing morning.  I had my second u/s and we got to see our babies, together!  When the tech turned the screen and showed us the flicker of the heartbeats - first Baby A, then Baby B, it was truly an experience I will never forget.  It was so beautiful.  Both babies are doing well, they both look great and both had good strong heartbeats, Baby A - 130, and Baby B - 120.  It was so amazing to see that, with H.  He was absolutely beaming, I so love that man <3  I think he finds it incredibly amazing and fascinating that there are technically 3 hearts beating inside my body right now!  He also said that we probably shouldn't call them blobs anymore, if they have heartbeats, they've graduated to baby status.  He is seriously so cute.  So, without further ado, here they are!

                            

   

We talked to Dr. C today, which was actually nice since she told us she's retiring on Friday!  She did our whole IVF cycle, it was nice to kind of 'wrap up' with her a little bit.  Then as we were walking out, we were the only patients in the clinic so Dr. R came out and a couple nurses, and the b/w tech - everyone was super happy and excited for us, it was really a nice moment :)  They all just kept joking and laughing about how I could not wipe the huge grin off my face!  What do you want from me, I got to see my babies this morning and see their hearts beating - that makes for a pretty freaking awesome morning :)