Happy Friday, indeed!

Why, you ask??  Because H is on a plane, right now (well, he has been for hours, but still) and he lands in 8 hours!!!!  He's almost home!!!!!!!  I don't think I have ever missed him so much, I'm thinking it might have something to do with the fact that I found out we're having twins and he hasn't been home yet to celebrate with!!!

And also, Happy Canada Day long weekend!!!!

6 Weeks!

Ok so my head has been everywhere this week, learning you're having two babies while your husband is across the world will apparently do that to you!  So while my u/s pic counts from ET, everyone I talk to and every website I look at says to count from ER, so that's what I'm doing and I'll ask at the clinic next week.

How far along:  6 weeks
Babies are the size of: Sweet Pea (I have no idea if this change for twins, I'm googling!)

 What's happening: Starting to circulate blood with an increasingly more sophisticated circulatory system. Starting to sprout a nose, eyes, ears, chin and cheeks, and might even be wiggling their paddle-like hands and feet!
Weight change: -0.5lbs
Maternity Clothes: Nope, just whatever is comfortable with the bloat
Stretch Marks: Nope
Sleep: I am so tired but have been sleeping like crap this week.  I am not a happy camper.
Symptoms: Pretty much the same as last week - tired, bloat, sore boobs and my sense of smell is still impressive, and sometimes a curse, i.e. garbage day :/  Yesterday I was pretty queasy, but today is better...so far.
Best Moment of the Week: My first u/s on Tues and finding out we're having TWINS!
Miss Anything: Uninterrupted sleep, and my husband who comes home tomorrow!!
Cravings/Aversions:  Not really
Showing Yet: No, just bloated, especially by night time.
Mood: Holy fucking shit, there's TWO babies in there!!!  I go between excitement and happiness and disbelief and panic!  I will feel so much better when H is home so we can be happy and crazy together!
What I am Looking Forward to: My u/s next week!  H will be there for that one, yay!  And I've heard we should probably be able to hear the heartbeats, I am so looking forward to that.

6 Weeks!

First Ultrasound!!

H left on Sunday for China, I proceeded to have a serious cry fest - he had been gone for like 2 hours.  I'm not one to blame hormones, but even I thought I was being a little crazy, but the tears kept flowing anyways!  He'll be back Friday, so not even that long of a trip, but I'm feeling a little sappy this week.  Sue me.

Last night was a bit of a panicky evening for me, I had a moment of seriously thinking they would find something wrong today, which then led to me discovering one last HPT that I immediately had to pee on - I think I already covered the part about me being crazy, don't act surprised now!  Finally, today has arrived!!  I swear this was the longest week waiting for today's u/s.  I got to the clinic and it was busy!  They kept me waiting a while, which only led to more anxiety.  Just show me my blob, damnit!!!  Thankfully a good friend was around to chat with me on FB and keep me sane while I waited - I love you for that!  They finally called me back and never have I been so excited to drop my pants for a date with the vag cam.  My usual tech was very sweet and I was a babbling idiot I think.  She told me she would do the measurements first, then turn the screen to show me.  I lay there, anxious as she did her thing, dying for her to turn that screen around.  Then she says to me, "how many babies do you want?"  I said, "I don't know....how many do you see in there?" And that's when she said it:  "I see two"  Cue the tears.  Cue more tears that H isn't here for this!  Then she showed me the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen, my sweet little blobs.

We finished up and I went to the exam room to wait for Dr. R.  I eventually stopped crying, sitting there trying to email H or catch him on skype, to no avail.  Dr. R came in and said everything looks great, everything is exactly where it should be and he was really pleased overall.  He did say that they were not able to get all the measurements for Baby B and then slightly cautioned me about the risks of miscarriage, especially with two fighting for resources.  He wasn't overly pessimistic, don't get me wrong, but I think he wanted to prepare me, just in case.  He also said it's still really early, so that could play into why it was tough to get all the measurements they wanted.  I go back next Wed for my next ultrasound and I am super happy that H will get to be there!  Especially since they said we'd be likely to hear the heartbeats by then.  I'm so glad he won't miss that moment :)

I came home and managed to connect with H on skype - no video or even phone call, just texting, but it was better than nothing.  (Damn your shitty internet, Chinese hotel!)  His exact response, I believe, was "OMG, are you serious?!?!"  And a lot of "holy fucking shit!"  In all fairness, it's the middle of the night for him and he's jetlagged, and I just told him I am currently growing TWO babies!  We texted for a while, he was so sweet.  I think we're both in a happy/excited/nervous/OMG place right now, haha!  I just can't wait for him to get home so I can hug him!

So with this news, my pregnancy/labour plan may change.  I was planning to go with a midwife, but they won't work with twins as it's a higher risk pregnancy, so even though I was fortunate to get a call this morning, 10 mins before leaving my house, that a clinic had room for me, I quickly called them back with today's news.  They will keep me on the list until next week when we see how Baby B is doing.  It can be really hard to get on a list, which is why I called the local ones asap, I was actually surprised I got a call back so quickly!  I'd say in the last two years, and battling IF, I am definitely a fighter, so hopefully Baby B takes after me and is fighting hard in there!  Grow, baby, grow!!  Now to keep distracted for another week!

Oh, and apparently the online calculator things that told me how far along I was aren't the same as what my clinic said.  My u/s shows 5w2d today, which counts from ET rather than ER.  What the hell do I know about this being pregnant stuff anyways though, right??  So I guess I was a little early with my 5 week post last week...I suppose I will readjust to being 3 days behind.  And I guess my EDD will also change...ahhh, details.  Holy shit, did you guys see?  I'm having TWINS?!?!?!?!

 

5 Weeks

I still can't quite believe I'm writing this, but I want to be able to look back and see where I started!  So, here we go, I'm diving in!

How far along:  5 weeks
Baby is the size of: An apple seed
What's happening: The embryo doesn't look like much more than a tadpole right now, but at five weeks, she's already starting to form major organs (heart, stomach, liver, kidney) and systems (digestive, circulatory, nervous).
Weight change: Stepped on the scale for the first time in ages, today will be my starting point!
Maternity Clothes: Nope.  I did buy some new dresses/skirts for the summer, but I needed some new things anyways.  I may have tried to pick things that will accommodate some bloat though :)
Stretch Marks: Nope
Sleep: Pretty typical, I've been getting pretty tired in the evenings, and I even napped on Sunday!  Strange for me, very strange.
Symptoms: I swear I have a new super power - the power to smell everything!  Also sore boobs and bloat, which gets progressively worse as the day goes on.
Best Moment of the Week: Beta #2 on Monday being over 800 and telling our parents!
Miss Anything: Not really, a wine spritzer would be nice, but I'm still just so happy to have a reason to pass :)
Cravings/Aversions:  None to speak of.
Showing Yet: No, just bloated, especially by night time (hence the reason my pics will be in the morning!).
Mood: Disbelief, although it's starting to really sink in.  I am nervously anxious about my first u/s next Tues.  But H and I are trying to enjoy these moments, I know there are no guarantees and it's still early, but we've waited so long for this, we're trying to just embrace it all.
What I am Looking Forward to: My u/s next week!  I want to know how many embabies took up residence!  And I think seeing it on the screen will help this all feel even more real, even if it's only a tiny dot or blob - I can't wait to see my blob(s).

5 Weeks!

Telling our parents

I know some people would think we're crazy but hear me out.  First, I will reiterate again that we are incredibly close to our families.  They have been a huge support to us going through IF.  They didn't always know the particulars, but they were always there, sending love and prayers, trying not to pry but always wondering how we're doing.  We gave them updates along the way, my mom a little more so because we're so close.  She knew when another cycle was a bust and shared in that heartache, as much as she could.  We did share when we moved on to IVF and they were incredible throughout it all.  If you'll recall, I mentioned that my MIL even sent me an edible arrangement after ER - I seriously lucked out when it comes to ILs.  Anyways, we were vague with them in regards to beta and when we would find out if the cycle was a success or not, we wanted to make sure we had time for us to digest the news, whichever way it went.  So while we were vague and always said, "In a couple weeks" or "at least another week before we'll know" they knew approximately when we would find out.  And we knew they were pretty much waiting on pins and needles with us.  I also knew that there was no way I would be able to talk to my mom much, let alone see her, without giving it away.  There was no mistaking the huge grin on my face!  We also know there are no guarantees, this is still incredibly early, but if God forbid something does happen, we would share that with them and very much need their love and support.  So, we decided to tell them.

We had my mom over for dinner, very casual, or so she thought.  I got an online deal to order some canvas prints, so I asked her to look through my photo book of pictures from our Rockies trip last year to help me pick out a couple of favourites.  When she got to the page for Morraine Lake (there's a picture of my parents in this exact spot when my mom was 3 months pregnant, see this old post) and I had placed this in there:

She forgot her glasses and I had to kind of prod her along for the last line.  She totally thought it was a voucher and I was going to make her something for the new grandbaby arriving any day now (SIL #2 that is lapping us!).  It took a moment for it to register and then the flood gates open and she just hugged me and bawled.  It was perfect!  She was totally surprised, she also didn't know we would know by then, so I am really happy that even after two years at this and her being in the loop on IF and our IVF cycle, I still got my moment to surprise her.  Later that night, we Skyped H's parents and after they did some nonchalant sailing talk, I told my MIL I was sending her a link for a gift idea for my SIL and wanted her opinion.  So we got to see her face when she opened the email and it was awesome!  We could not have said more times to both of our parents how early this is, how we are staying cautious and a little guarded, but for the moment, we're letting ourselves be happy.  I'm finally pregnant.  My mom made me repeat that sentence a couple of times and just kept crying!  

Our immediate families have been absolutely amazing, and again, they know about our struggles and especially our IVF cycle and have been keeping fingers and toes crossed, praying for us, sending good vibes, etc.  We don't feel the need to keep it a secret from them, so we will likely also tell our siblings soon, as they are getting to the point of figuring we know now whether it worked or not.  And again, I always come back to the fact that these are the people we want to share our good news with, but they are also the people we would share not so good news with (but I pray every day that this isn't the case).  Beyond them, our lips are sealed, mum's the word.  I love that expression so much right now :) 

Beta #2 is in!

I won't lie, I continued to pee on all the sticks this weekend, but you know what?  It helped.  That beautiful dark line just kept staring back at me, and the cheapies are actually getting darker every day.  It's kind of awesome to see the progression.  But it helped me stay sane while waiting for beta #2 and that's what matters.

Beta #2 was this morning and it is awesome!!!  Silly nurse didn't have my chart in front of her, but she said it was a bit over 800, woo hoo!!!  She said the doubling time is perfect and they are super happy with everything.  ::cue happy dance::  Holy shit, it's starting to sink in.  I'm actually pregnant.  Squeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!

That is the end of betas for me.  I go back next Tues for my first u/s!  I could not be more excited to see what's happening in there, and really nervously excited to see if both embabies decided to stick around!  The only downfall, which I'm quite disappointed about, is that H is out of town on business next week :(  After all we've been through, I know he really wants to be there.  But there's not much we can do about it.  Hopefully it will be an awesome appt and I will get pictures I can share with him afterwards.  I wonder if they'd let me try to Skype....??  LOL.

I am so freaking happy today :)

Beta #1

I still can't even believe I'm writing this.  This week feels so surreal, which I find funny since I have been dreaming about it for two years!  I went in for my much-pushed-for beta this morning.  I walked in and the nurses behind the desk just laughed.  I said, "I tried!" (to wait until tomorrow) but I did not try, I want my beta, and I want it now, damnit!  I also told them the the test this morning was amazing and I just had to know.  The test line this morning actually looks a little darker than yesterday, maybe even darker than the control line!

This was a huge relief since I panicked last night thinking this was all a mistake and somehow it couldn't be true.  I was actually super eager to POAS again this morning, just to check.  I was so unbelievably grateful to see that second line start to pop up almost immediately, then bam!  Dark line!

After the clinic, I came home and basically stared at the clock until it was noon and I could call for the results.  For the first time ever, I called to get beta results and the nurse was excited and happy and told me it's good news!  Beta #1 came back at 199!!!!!!!!!  Holy fucking shit!!!!!  She said congrats and some other things, I got all tongue tied and didn't really know what to say next!  I go back on Monday for beta #2 and will be praying for another great beta!  I guess I need to work on not saying "I might be pregnant".  For some reason, those two little words were like a shield over my heart, trying to protect me from the worst.
 But holy shit guys, today, I'M PREGNANT!!!!!!   (OMG, I can't believe I just wrote that!!!!  Aaaahhh!!!!)

I Will Wait No More!

Two years of trying to conceive.  

22 Failed cycles.  

3 failed Femara cycles, 4 failed IUIs.  

Over $25,000 later.

But today, at 10dp3dt for IVF#1, this happened:

You would think that after two years of imagining writing this I would have a clue of what I would say, but it's still sinking in.  Holy fucking shit.

I decided to test out my trigger, the one time I did it before I managed to not let the crazy take over, so I foolishly assumed I could do the same this time.  Although warned by many, I have to say this IVF cycle has been so much harder than any other, you feel so invested and the stakes just feel so very high.  I tried to be lax about testing, not getting too wrapped up with it, just slowly but surely waiting for that line to disappear.  When I look at the dry tests afterwards, it looks like it was gone by about 7dp3dt but on that day, I thought I saw a shadow of a line but as I said, I wasn't crazy about it yet, so I may have looked at it outside the time frame, saw a shadow and thought no more of it.

Even though I saw a line at 8dp3dt, I wasn't convinced it wasn't still my trigger so I really didn't read much more into it than that.  A few friends said it looked promising, but I was not about to get my hopes up when it could still be trigger.  Then yesterday, 14 days past trigger, I tested again, because I couldn't seem to put the sticks down, and the line was even darker than the day before.  Wait, what?  Really?  Insert all of the reasons why I shouldn't believe it or trust it just yet.  But it was there, and a squinter it was not.

I was still very cautious, but started being hopeful that this might really be it.  It was 14 days past trigger yesterday, the odds of the trigger still being there, and still giving me a line that dark, seemed possible but not probable.  H & I were going with guarded optimism, we have been hurt too many times before, there's an instinct to protect your heart, which is what we were trying to do.  I went out and stocked up on more FRERs (and they were on sale, woo hoo!) since I knew I needed to pee on all the things!  We went to bed and said a prayer that our embaby(ies) are growing strong.

I woke up around 6:30am panic stricken and afraid to get up and test.  All of the worst possible things went through my head.  What if the line is gone?  What if it was just the trigger all along?  What if, what if, what if? I spent an hour lying there, praying that God gives us this chance, right now, to be parents.  I had a pep talk with my embaby(ies) and finally got up the nerve to go and test.  I dipped, set the timer, and looked away.  I couldn't bear to watch only a single line appear.  Around the 2 minute mark I got up the nerve and looked, and holy shit, there was another line!  And not a faint, squinter of a line, a real, honest to goodness line staring back at me!  I just stood there, frozen, holding the test, hands shaking, trying to let my brain catch up with what my eyes were seeing.  

I opened the door to our bedroom, H was just starting to wake up.  The light was off, but I had left the hallway light on, so there was a little light filtering into the room.  I hopped on the bed and showed him the test.  And even in his groggy state, eyes barely open, very little light, he absolutely, without a doubt, saw two lines.  He wasn't even sure which was the control!  We laid in bed for a while cuddling, just saying, "holy shit, that's a real line!"  I told him it all felt so surreal.  Like for years, people had been telling me about this amazing unicorn that existed, and while I believed it for a while, the two year battle with TTC made it harder and harder to believe it was real, or that I would ever get to see it.  But today, today it felt like I got to see that elusive, magical unicorn everyone has been telling me about!  I shed a few tears of disbelief, we had a good cuddle, H is so excited and is about ready to believe it after today's test.  We are both anxious for beta, which I called yesterday to ask about moving up.  I called my nurse and begged and pleaded like a crazy person!  She said it's still early and said I should try to "keep distracted" (lol, yeah, ok!) but if I couldn't make it to Friday, I can come Thursday.  That was enough for me!  Thursday it is!  I'm praying for a great beta tomorrow, but at least for today, I feel more confident, and when I start to think, "is this for real?" I just keep staring at this beautiful test.  It is starting to sink in: this might really be it for us.  We are praying this is the first step of a long and amazing new journey for us.  I think I might get to wish H the first of hopefully many, Happy Father's Days this weekend :)  Oh, and according to this site, my EDD is February 18.

I know I said a thank you in my recent blogiversary post, but I honestly want to hug each and everyone of you that has been here along with me, who has offered their support, love, hugs and commiseration, encouragement and advice.  I can't even imagine how much more difficult and lonely this journey would have been without you all.  I am humbled and touched by the love and support I have received.  From the very bottom of my heart, thank you, and know that I am praying for each and every one of you, that we all get our happy endings <3

And just because the novelty has nowhere near worn off, my two tests from this morning, because clearly one was not enough :)

*I can't even tell you how long I stared at this post before I could hit "Publish", it's so hard to believe this could really be it for us!  Mumford, I love you, but I Will Wait no more!!!

BLOGIVERSARY

Seriously?!  And I missed it, haha!  I guess I've been distracted this week.

I remember when I first started this blog I thought no one would ever read it.  Like ever.  I didn't think anyone would care about little old me and my woes, but clearly I was a tad off base, I have recently got over 10,000 hits - WHAT?!  I have also connected with so many of my favourite internet friends and stalkers :)  It doesn't even feel right to say that anymore because so many of you are so much more than "internet friends".  You are my support and encouragement, you give me advice and wisdom that I am ever grateful for.  You have become important people in my life.  For those reasons, I could not be more grateful for starting this blog, because it allowed me to connect with so many amazing people.  IF can be a lonely and scary ride, and I am confident that if it weren't for you guys, I would have lost my shit ages ago.  (And in some posts, I already did :/)

Thank you for making me not feel alone.  Thank you for your ongoing love and support.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being here during the most difficult and trying time in my life.
Sincerely,
Jen

 

Impatiently waiting...

Beta is T-one week.  And I swear, time is pretty much standing still.  Maybe even moving backwards at points just to torture me.  My friends, they warned me about this 2ww.  And not that I didn't believe them, but they were not kidding or understating.  This is the hardest 2ww in 23 cycles.  I just want to know, and I want to know now, damnit!

Yes, I am completely aware of how childish that sounds, but it's kind of how I feel right now.  And I know there's no fast forward button and we'll be waiting until next Friday regardless, but it feels good to let it out!

In the meantime, I like to imagine what's happening to my blastobabies in there, not that they'll be blastobabies for much longer, I pray!  According to my nifty chart over here, they are hopefully working towards implantation.  Snuggle in, little embabies, snuggle in tight!

Yup, see how boring my updates are when all I have to do it wait?  No charts to ninja or follies to count, just lots and lots of praying.

Twice in one week??

We got good news twice in one week, what?!?!  That doesn't happen very often for us, I'm in a little bit of disbelief right now.  The nurse called from my clinic - thank you for calling me as soon as you got my report! - and gave us good news!  WE HAVE A FROSTIE!!!!!!!  ::cue ridiculous grin and happy dance::

Holy shit, I just can't believe it.  I am so freaking happy right now, it is truly an amazing feeling, especially since it is so rare with our IF journey.  We have a frostie, SQUEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

It honestly feels like a weight has been lifted, I was so worried about not having a plan b (I've been doing this long enough that I always want a plan b in the wings, ready to go) but now, we have that option.  We could do a FET if we needed to.  I pray with every fibre of my being that we don't need to use it any time soon, but the relief of knowing we can is so good for my mental well being.  It feels like a tiny ounce of pressure has been lifted off this cycle, not having all our eggs (or embryos!) in one basket.  And I know no one knows what is happening with the two we transferred, but this gives me so much hope for them.  We transferred our best two, so if #3 made it to day 6 and good enough to freeze, I can't help but feel extra hopeful about the quality of the ones we did transfer.  I feel like I can breathe a little easier, and it sure is helping me to stay in a good head space.  I know I just started in the 2ww, and I will not doubt ride the IF emotional roller coaster along the way, but for the first time in a long time, I am happy, and hopeful, excited and optimistic.

Random funny story: before bed last night, I told H to keep his fingers crossed for our embie #3 and hope we get good news today.  He says, "I'm crossing my fingers so hard for good news for our blastobaby".  Just one of many reasons I love this man!  Blastobaby, haha, I love it!

To have a frostie, or not to have a frostie, that is the question

I have been anxious since I woke up, waiting for 10am so I could call the clinic to see how embryo #3 is doing and find out if we will get to freeze.  At 10am they said they didn't know yet, try back again after noon.  Fine, I suppose I can distract myself for another 2 hours.  I call at noon, they still don't know.  WTF guys, seriously?!  I was told we would know Tues, and reports are usual at the clinic by 11am.  Do you have any idea how difficult every minute can be when you are waiting on this news??  Clearly not.  I called again at 2pm and was told that my nurse finally spoke to a lab person, they were in a meeting apparently (Grrrrrrr!) but they'll fax my info over right away.  I asked the nurse to call me as soon as she got it, this waiting is killing me!  So I just got the call and my heart stopped - please let it be good news!  The nurse says, "No news is good news" and I think what the hell, did you not get a report from the lab?  Apparently there isn't much of an update today, they are going to let embie #3 keep marinating until tomorrow, at which point we should know if it's survived and we can freeze.  Two opposing emotions:  Hooray!!!!!!!  This is a victory, we still have a third embryo, we still have the possibility to freeze, it's still growing!!!  and WTF people, I have to do this for another 24 hrs?!?  Do you guys not realize this waiting is so very difficult?  And if there wasn't much news, why on earth did you make me wait all day, staring at the clock??  Not cool.  But anyways, I am choosing to focus less on my annoyance and all on my third embaby, who is hopefully still working on dividing into the right number of cells and growing strong.  We still have a chance here.

I did a little googling to see what our embabies are, or should be, up to:

I also found this nifty chart - I do so love my lists and charts!  It's interesting to see how things should be progressing.

I can't understand how this chart says at 11dp3dt you should be able to detect pregnant, but my clinic has my beta set for June 16, which is 16dp3dt!!  I have P4 b/w on Thurs, I'm going to ask about those dates.  Everyone I talk to says it is usually 2 weeks after ER, not ET.  Do not make me wait any longer than I have to, please!  So today, I am praying for my 3rd embaby still at the lab, and praying that the two currently living in my ute are working on becoming blastocysts.  Come on embabies, grow/stick!!!

You ladies weren't joking, I think this will be the longest two weeks of my life.  

PUPO!!

What a stressful few days that was.  I was shocked when we got our fert report on Friday, and my mind started racing and going to all the worst places, mostly being concerned with my eggs.  I couldn't understand how we got so few eggs, and so few that fertilized, especially using ICSI.  We let ourselves be sad and disappointed and angry on Friday, then we got up on Saturday and tried to get into a better head space.  I think we were both staying guarded, we were so worried there was more bad news in store for us, it just kind of feels like par for the course these days.  I tried to keep busy on Sat, my mom and I went for pedicures and then out for lunch.  We watched a movie and just hung out for most of the afternoon - it helped to try and stay distracted, although it was never long before my mind went right back to the what if's for transfer day.

On Sunday morning we gave ourselves lots of time to get downtown to the clinic.  Of course the highway was closed for a bike marathon, cause why wouldn't it be on the one important day I need to get downtown?  But we made it with plenty of time, which was good since the building appeared to be locked, cue moment of WTF??  Another lady came and buzzed in, so we followed her in.  Crisis averted!  We then headed upstairs to check in and stuff and then I guzzled back some Powerade - have I mentioned how much I detest the appts where you need a full bladder??  That's just not fun for anyone, namely me.  Our doctor was about 15mins late, no biggie, it's not like we were there on pins and needles, eager for an update, hungry for some information - you just take your time.  (She was not in my good books at this point).  She finally arrived and we were ready to go!

They took me into another procedure room and got me up on the table.  H came in and sat next to me, then Dr. C finally, after what felt like an eternity, gave us some info.  We have three, beautiful 8-cell embryos, one grade 1, two grade 2's.  Huge sigh of relief!  H said you could literally see my face change from sheer panic and nerves to elation.  Did she really just say that??  That was literally, at that point, the best possible news we could have received.  She also explained that during ER, a lot of my bigger follies were actually empty and contained no eggs, then we got a handful of immature ones, a post mature one and a few good ones.  She said it was quite a mixed bag and was actually indicative of PCOS - no one has ever mentioned this to me before, and when I google, I don't think I have many of the typical symptoms, but interesting to hear some more info at least.  We also learned that while they got 7 eggs, they only fertilized 3 because the other 4 were immature.  So of 3 fertilized, all 3 had made it to day 3, 8 cell embies, which makes me feel much better than only having 3 of 7 work.  It kind of made me think that maybe not all my eggs are good, but that when they find the good ones, we can actually make good embryos, or at least that's how I'm interpreting it right now.

We decided to transfer the best two and let #3 continue to develop into blasocyst at which point, if all looks good, we'll freeze - I'll find out tomorrow about this (fingers crossed!).  Then it was go time!  We watched the tv screen from the lab.  They showed my name - yup, definitely my embies, and zoomed right in so we could see them while the doctor remarked how beautiful they looked.  Then we saw them get sucked up the catheter, at which point I laughed and was told not to do that, haha, and the embryologist passed the catheter through the window in the wall to Dr. C.  We got to watch the u/s machine while they put my embies in.  It was honestly a pretty amazing moment.

That's them, those are my embabies!!  I am so incredibly grateful for them and grateful for this opportunity.  I pray that this is the first of many incredibly ultrasounds, I pray that at least one sticks around for the long haul.  And now, the dreaded 2ww....this should be fun ;)