Meeting Dr. R

Friday was our initial appointment at the fertility clinic.  I was nervous and anxious but also a little excited to take the next step.  Fortunately the office is pretty close to home, so that's nice and convenient.  The nurses at the desk were really nice and helpful.  We were sent to the lab (after filling out pages of questionnaires) and had quite a bit of blood drawn, they will run 56 different tests on my samples, and 32 on H's.  Then we sat down and met with Dr. R for the first time.  He was really great, I think I'm really going to like him.  He's a nice Irish man that was funny, kind, informative and helped to put us at ease (as much as was possible).  Then H was sent to the "audio-visual" room (he said it was pretty odd, he tried not to think about all of the other men that had been through there before!) while I was taken in for a pelvic u/s and some cervical swabs.  We go back in two weeks for a few more ultrasounds, then on Sept 11 we have our follow up appt when they should have all of the results back.

Dr. R looked through my charts, and while I thought they looked alright over the last few months, he was quick to comment on the rocky mountains and dips I consistently have during the 2WW and he questioned my progesterone levels.  I think I only had one chart that he said looked good.  (I felt like I was getting a failing grade)  He basically said it looks like I have "crappy ovulation", that's a direct quote.  I liked his no BS, right to the point style, so while that sucks, I'm glad he was just upfront about what he was seeing.  He sounded optimistic though, and said if all we're dealing with is my crappy ovulation, he has high hopes that meds and well timed sex might do the trick for us.  I realize this is pretty good info overall, I know we're still waiting on the other tests to get a full picture, but I liked that he was able to identify something standing in our way (he actually mentioned that he would be concerned that even if I did get a BFP it might be harder to sustain a pregnancy) but he was optimistic and confident, stating if that's the only thing in our way, we should be a fairly easy case.  Let's hope that's the case.

I had the day off work and H took the afternoon off so that was nice to not have to rush back to work.  It's funny, after we left, H & I were chatting and I mentioned that I was feeling pretty fragile and vulnerable and he seemed confused and said, "I thought you'd be happier that we're moving forward".  The truth is, I am, but that day, it's like all of this IF stuff really started to sink in.  I've had this stupid head in my voice that kept saying, "Well, maybe nothing's wrong, it's just taking us longer but this will be the month!" and that voice has now been silenced.  It's not in my head, Dr. R looked at my charts and was very quick to comment on my crappy ovulation.  I guess it was just such a jumble of emotions that day, realizing that this is the road we are now on and it's been much harder and longer than I had anticipated.