Sticker shock

H and I have ongoing discussions about treatment and particularly finances.  Through the province, we have coverage for b/w and u/s - we paid a one time monitoring fee when we started with this clinic but I don't pay for each test, thank goodness!  Beyond that, we are completely OOP.  These injects + IUI cycles run us around $2000 and as always, it's just a gamble.  H & I are planners, it's so hard for me to feel so far out of control, which IF does to you, that I want to assert my control over anything that I can.  H & I are also pretty frugal people, we have worked hard to save and make good decisions with our money.  We both have decided it would be a good idea to have a sit down with Dr. R.  We haven't sat down with him really since we started treatment.  Don't get me wrong, I see him during monitoring appts, and he will answer questions and stuff, but it's a busy time, it's usually more about the immediate next steps and what day I need to come back.  We want a chance to sit down and go over everything.  We were dx unexplained but it seems weak ovulation is an issue for us, and SAs are always fantastic, so I'm pretty sure the issue is not there.  But we would like to know if they've learned anything more about me/us through the last few cycles.  We're into cycle 5 with them, I'd like a chance to hear his thoughts on our case at this point.

I would really like to know if he really believes, that based on all our info, how our cycles have gone, does he really think IUI will work for us.  I am in no way ready to move on to IVF at this moment, but I am feeling the need to start doing some research and we really need to weigh the cost-benefit.  With all the info, we may still move on to IUI#3, which is standard protocol, but I really want to make sure it's worth it for us to spend the money on that rather than putting it towards IVF if that's something that will likely be in our future.  It's all so hard and confusing, there are no for sure's, no right or wrong answers per se, you just have to make a decision based on the best information you can get.  I know Dr. R won't be able to say with certainty whether or not we'll get to IVF, but I want to have an honest discussion about it.

When I called to make the appt, the nurse gave me a quick run down; all in all, IVF would cost us about $12-13K.  HOLY SHIT.  That's half my car.  That's like 5-6 vacations for us.  That's a huge chunk of our mortgage we could pay down.  That could be the price tag for a chance to have a baby.

I may sound like I'm getting ahead of myself, and perhaps I am a little, but this is my process, this is how I work.  I panic, gather information, feel more in control and then make decisions (with H) about how to proceed.  I think it's a good idea to go and chat with our RE to see how he's feeling about things at this point, and I wanted to do so without the pressure of another cycle starting (as in if we waited to see how this cycle turns out - by the time you get a BFN, CD3 rolls around quickly and you're already into the next one).  I know we won't have the results from this cycle back yet, we got in to see him on Thurs, but I just need to talk to him, ask him some realistic and blunt questions and start to see what the path ahead may contain. I'm still really praying that this will be our cycle and this whole train of thought/appt will be for nothing, but I need to think beyond this cycle and have some plans or ideas, or at least information, in place.