But I didn't, and I let myself get all hopeful for this cycle. Our last cycle before treatment. I let myself think, "Well maybe this will be it! We'll be those people who are just about to start treatment and bam! Pregnant on our own." I had ended up ovulating on our 2nd wedding anniversary - it just seemed like such a good sign. Clearly that is not our story. So yesterady, at 12DPO my temp was up so I tested - BFN. As the day went along, I started having a little spotting. And I knew. I just knew what was coming. H was gone most of yesterday and I had too much time to wallow, and eat freshly baked cookies. I did a little of this:
And then a little of this:
We really can't do this on our own. We really need some help if we want to get pregnant. I'm still having a crappy start to the day, as it shapes up to be CD1 here, but I think I will try to focus on moving forward today, "try being the operative word. I will call the RE's office and leave a message as soon as AF really arrives. I should be going for CD3 b/w and u/s on Tuesday and then we'll get this show on the road.
Cycle 15, I never imagined I would see you and still have this ache in my heart, but alas, here we are.
((hugs)) to you, friend. It really isn't fair. I am hopeful that you're going to get beginner's luck with your first round of treatment!!!
ReplyDelete((hugs))
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry J. Big hugs to you. If you want to talk you know where to find me! <3
ReplyDeleteSorry, sweets! It effing sucks! ***hugs***
ReplyDelete(I love the first gif though...made me giggle!)
I'm so sorry that it didn't happen J. I think it's normal to feel crushed that you'll probably need help to get pregnant. Just know that we'll be here for you the whole time, no matter how you get there. Hugs <3
ReplyDelete