Highs and Lows

I'll start with today's low so that I can end on a high note.  Today marks exactly 18 months of TTC.  18 long months of hope, disappointment, sadness, excitement, realization and every other possible emotion.  That's enough months for two pregnancies, two!  And I still have not seen those two beautiful lines.  Well, except testing out my trigger, but that doesn't count.  I have an 18 month old nephew - we started TTC just after he was born, and now my SIL is already expecting #2, all of that has happened in the time H & I have been trying to have a baby.  And as we approach the end of 2013, I have to admit I am deeply saddened that a whole calendar year has gone by that has been dedicated to TTC and I still have nothing to show for it.  A whole year and a half of peeing on sticks, temping (almost) every morning, scheduling sex (don't worry, not all sex was scheduled!) and now we can add blood work and vag cams and meds - and still nothing.  Seriously, I'm ready to skip right over the holidays, at least with the new year will come a new cycle.  I hate being in limbo, knowing we're out but still having to wait for the cycle to finish so we can do this all over again, but hopefully with a better result.

Ok, that's enough dwelling on that.  My high for today is that H is coming home!!!  He has been traveling for...well lots of hours already!  His flight lands just after dinner and I am so excited to see him.  It's funny, this is by no means the longest he's been gone, but I have really, really missed him.  China is across the world, we've been on opposite schedules exchanging emails when we can.  With this cycle being canceled, I think I missed him even more.  He is my rock, my support and my best friend, and I cannot wait to see him tonight.  7 hours and counting!