Swallowing is hard

Pills, people, I'm talking about pills - get your mind out of the gutter, as my mother would say!  ;)
Another aspect of TTC that just sucks for me is these gigantic horse pill sized, PNVs.  I have had an issue swallowing pills for as long as I can remember.  This goes way back to when I was a little girl and used to suffer from horrible motion sickness (actually I still do).  My mom would try to give me gravol before a car ride, but I couldn't swallow it.  I remember my mom trying to come up with any way she could think of to get that pill into me and I have vivid, and slightly horrible memories, of these incidents.  Crushing up pills to put them in stuff didn't help, do you have any idea how horrible crushed up gravol tastes?  Let me spare you, it's awful, don't try it!  

Needless to say, I have got better at pills, but I still can only swallow reasonable sized ones, which is not most typical vitamins.  (You should have seen me examining the PNV boxes to try and figure out which ones might be swallow-able for me)  Why do they have to make them so big??  I was super excited a couple years ago when the daily gummy vitamins came out and I actually didn't mind taking them (actually I love them, they're yummy!)  But when we started TTC, I switched to PNVs and while I see lots of ladies on TB talking about gummy ones, I have yet to find them so I wonder if it's something you can get in the states and not here?  I will keep looking, but no luck yet.  So now in addition to my big ass PNV I have to take, I have added EPO (evening primrose oil).  What do you know, it's more pills!  I take 1500mg a day and the pills are only 500mg each, which means I am taking 3 of them, bringing my total to 4 pills every night.  I get a bit anxious every night as I head upstairs to get ready for bed and take my pills, it's a serious mental game I play with myself.  I have to do it while H isn't around, I can't swallow pills, that size and that many, in front of people - yup, I'm a weirdo, I know.  And last night, like so many other nights, I get to the half way point and I wish so much that the stupid EPO was just one pill!  It did not feel like they went down properly, so back downstairs to the kitchen to eat a spoonful of peanut butter - there's no way I'm going to sleep feeling like a pill is stuck in my throat and peanut butter actually helps.  

So, in conclusion, swallowing is hard for me and it's just one more piece of this TTC journey that I dislike.  It wouldn't be as hard to deal with if I was taking the PNVs because I'm pregnant, I know I'll have to do it then too, but I've now been struggling with these stupid pills for a year!  I need to find the gummy PNVs, where o' where can I find some??!!