Update on H's Grandmother

It's been a tough week for our family, and it is still ongoing.  H & I went to visit Mia (H's grandma) on Thursday evening, my MIL was also there.  It was a long drive there in rush hour traffic, I think we were both looking forward to seeing her, but also a bit anxious as we weren't sure what to expect.  When we got there, she was in bed and looking a bit swollen and frail, but she was happy and in good spirits.  We all sat around reminiscing about the past, we told stories, we laughed - we shared some wonderful memories.  I think her memory is actually better than ours!  She remembered speeches that H gave in middle school, family trips, silly stories from H's childhood - it was truly awesome.  While we were there, H's cousin, who recently moved to Calgary for work, flew home and we got to be there when she walked into the room with her mom and brother.  It was such an amazing surprise!  Mia went from looking slightly confused as she registered what her eyes were seeing, then the tears came.  She kept saying she didn't think cousin would be able to come, and that "this is the best surprise of my life" - it was incredible to see her receive that gift, especially nearing the end.  We continued to visit with all of them for a while before heading home - the puppy can only wait so long for us.  It was tough to leave, not knowing for certain if that would be the last time or not, but we did well and I managed to keep it together until I got home.

It was such a bittersweet visit.  I completely understand Mia's decision, there is no hope for her quality of life to improve, and honestly, she was really happy when we saw her.  I think this decision brought her a real measure of peace, and you could see that in her.  I think if I could write the end to my own life script one day, it would be quite similar.  She has spent the last week, resolved and happy with her decision to end dialysis, surrounded by family and friends, remembering the best moments in her life, getting a chance to say good bye before moving on to a better place.  I am grateful that she gets to be happy at the end.

It's been 8 days since she stopped dialysis.  We were told typically people survive 7-10 days after they stop, so it seems like it could really be any time.  H went up north last night to help his dad with something and is probably at the hospital on his way home right now.  I really hope that he has a nice visit with her today.  My SIL was there yesterday and said Mia is getting noticeably weaker and more tired.  I don't know if I will get a chance to see her again, but if I don't, I really have the best possible last memory with her, one that I will cherish and remember fondly, yet sadly.  My last hope for her is that when the time comes and she's ready to leave this place, that she passes quietly and peacefully, feeling immensely loved, never forgotten.

I'd also like to thank those that left a comment, offering kind wishes and prayers, it has meant a lot to me, makes me feel a little less alone.