9DPO

And just waiting...

Even if it's your 16th 2WW, it still sucks.  My husband will tell you, I am not great with all the waiting around, I'm a do-er. I decided to stop testing, yesterday's test showed the trigger was pretty well gone.  I had to debate and move it around to determine if there really was a line there (I decided on seeing a shadow).  So I am now down to 1 HPT left in the house and thinking I will try to hold out until Friday to test again (unless my pee-stick pushing friends make me cave!).  My RE wants me in for b/w on Friday, so I figure even if I have questionable results from an HPT that morning, by lunch they'll have my b/w back and be able to confirm.  I got a pretty high temp this morning, I'm trying not to let my hopes climb up with it, because I've seen high temps around this time....right before they plummeted and AF arrived.  You really can't read too much into anything, but damn it's hard!  Look at the pretty chart:

Ok, Friday, hurry up and get here already!

I also have to admit, I'm starting to feel the totally self-inflicted pressure of the holidays and the end of the year.  The idea of a whole calendar year going by and still not being pregnant, is just...hard to take.  If this cycle doesn't work, we will get one more cycle before year end.  I also just found out yesterday that H will probably have to be in China from around Dec. 14-19 (FF's predicted FW), which means I would have to be hoping for another early O to have a shot next cycle.  And that's all up in the air - his dates aren't set, nor is my cycle.  I know, I know - cross that bridge when you get to it, but it's hard to not always be thinking about the next cycle.  And if the last chance of 2013 comes down to our inability to have good timing because of this trip...I will not be a happy camper.  You really can't plan around IF, because no cycle is the same, everything is always up in the air and last minute.  This is hard for a planner/organizer like myself to handle, but I do, since I really don't have any other choice.  I just really want to make the most of every opportunity, including next cycle, provided there is one (but please not!!).