Onward

I had my CD3 monitoring appt this morning and had a feeling of, "here we go again!"  But I'm going into this cycle being optimistic, at least at this point.  I am temping (which I know can be effected by meds, but I'm still doing it) and OPKs - I will be all over O this cycle!  So I talked to Dr. C (where is Dr. R?!) and she threw out a bunch of different options, which caught me off guard since I thought we discussed this last week.  The plan is to increase the Letrozole (I have 2.5mg pills, I took 1 today, I'll take 2 tomorrow, 3 Wed and 4 on Thurs) and then they want me in on Friday to see how I'm responding.  When I asked about the trigger shot, she said yes for sure, but the issue is getting me to the point of triggering, since last cycle my b/w was so up and down.  So if there's not a good response by Friday, she mentioned adding injects to this cycle.  Oh goody, more needles.  This seemed a little aggressive when she first said it, but I appreciate her wanting to stay on top of all of this and adjusting as we go if necessary.  She seemed almost as set as I am about not missing O and doing everything we can to increase my chances.  I am all for that.  Especially since the price tag on this cycle is already climbing, plus every cycle (and I have only done one with the RE) is physically and emotionally taxing.  I want to feel like it's all worth it for a really good chance this cycle.  Last shot at being KU by Christmas!  I was worried I had to decide right then and there, pre-coffee (I know, that's just crazy!) so I'm glad I can do the Letrozole until Friday and give me a chance to think it all through.  (Any friends/stalkers have any info to share about injects - like telling me it's not that bad, I would love to hear from you, here or on FB or wherever you like to stalk :P)

The second thing she threw out was sperm wash and IUI.  This would be about the time that my head started spinning a little.  I know that's an option, I just thought it was a cycle or two further down the road.  I want to talk to H about it, since this is quite a jump for him, he had trouble wrapping his head around adding injects - he's like, "I thought we were doing the meds for a few cycles first??"  I obviously want to make sure he and I are on the same page about moving forward.  I feel like it's jumping down the line, like we should do 3 cycles of meds because...that's "normal"?  That's obviously stupid, why waste 3 cycles, and put my body, mind and soul, through it all if we don't have a great shot?  I want to maximize every opportunity, since they come about so infrequently.  Obviously we will see where we're at on Friday, hopefully I've responded well and we can trigger and that's it, but if they suggest injects, I think I'm prepared to go that route.  And if they say IUI is our best shot, way better than the inject option, I think it would be hard to refuse.  When you start spending hundreds of dollars on a cycle, you really want to make the most of it, throw everything you have into it.  But is that jumping the gun?  My previous blog title of "shades of grey" just keeps running through my head.  There are no simple questions or answers, nothing is cut and dry, it's all confusing and complicated.  And even when you think you know, something can change midway through and you need to decide what to do with the new info.  Someone just tell me the right answer, k?